ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
literature
Savin' Me
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Janine hunched on the couch, eyes plastered to the flashing screen. “Come on, Fredric,” she muttered. “Look behind you.”
A man in a ski mask was sneaking up on the handsome detective. He kept his breathing low and his steps quiet.
Fredric noticed nothing. He kept dusting the lamp for fingerprints.
“Idiot,” Dr. Stevenson hissed. He waved toward the teenager. “You know her fourth wall is deteriorating! You should have brought her in. Why would you let her near the television?”
The girl's father seized his coat. “I couldn't help it!” He pulled the good doctor closer. “She said she would die if she missed this.”
“She might die because of it.” Stevenson pulled himself free. “Quick. Why was this episode important?”
“Her favorite character came back after ten episodes?”
Stevenson's breath caught. “Oh no. That means-”
BLAM!
Fredric crumpled, the lamp slipping from his grip. His head thumped against the floor.
The girl gasped. Dropping the remote, she fell from the couch.
“Hurry!” the doctor shouted. “Turn it off!”
The father raced past him, but it was too late. The television was showing a closeup.
Deep red bloomed over Fredric's chest.
The father sobbed. “Janine!” He pressed his hands over her chest, desperate to staunch the flow.
Dr. Stevenson bit back a curse. “Lost another one.”
He sighed, turning away. “There's only one thing to do now, to keep the fourth-wall breakdown from spreading.”
Blue eyes lifted, staring through glasses and straight into some unseen reader's soul.
“I'm afraid I'll have to quarantine us all.”
A man in a ski mask was sneaking up on the handsome detective. He kept his breathing low and his steps quiet.
Fredric noticed nothing. He kept dusting the lamp for fingerprints.
“Idiot,” Dr. Stevenson hissed. He waved toward the teenager. “You know her fourth wall is deteriorating! You should have brought her in. Why would you let her near the television?”
The girl's father seized his coat. “I couldn't help it!” He pulled the good doctor closer. “She said she would die if she missed this.”
“She might die because of it.” Stevenson pulled himself free. “Quick. Why was this episode important?”
“Her favorite character came back after ten episodes?”
Stevenson's breath caught. “Oh no. That means-”
BLAM!
Fredric crumpled, the lamp slipping from his grip. His head thumped against the floor.
The girl gasped. Dropping the remote, she fell from the couch.
“Hurry!” the doctor shouted. “Turn it off!”
The father raced past him, but it was too late. The television was showing a closeup.
Deep red bloomed over Fredric's chest.
The father sobbed. “Janine!” He pressed his hands over her chest, desperate to staunch the flow.
Dr. Stevenson bit back a curse. “Lost another one.”
He sighed, turning away. “There's only one thing to do now, to keep the fourth-wall breakdown from spreading.”
Blue eyes lifted, staring through glasses and straight into some unseen reader's soul.
“I'm afraid I'll have to quarantine us all.”
My first (and hopefully not only) entry for FFM. Whooo! 
I even took the four-part challenge as penitence for not participating earlier.
Speaking of which. The parts to that challenge were:
The title had to be the name of my favorite song. (I picked one from my handful of favorites.) But no song quotes could be used.
The fourth wall had to be broken at some point.
Action had to move between two different fields in the story. Foreground/background, etc.
And it had to be no longer than 256 words. I came in at just that. Hurray!
Now. Here's hoping this thing makes some kind of sense to the reader. I reeeeally wanted a higher word count.
I even took the four-part challenge as penitence for not participating earlier. Speaking of which. The parts to that challenge were:
The title had to be the name of my favorite song. (I picked one from my handful of favorites.) But no song quotes could be used.
The fourth wall had to be broken at some point.
Action had to move between two different fields in the story. Foreground/background, etc.
And it had to be no longer than 256 words. I came in at just that. Hurray!
Now. Here's hoping this thing makes some kind of sense to the reader. I reeeeally wanted a higher word count.
Flash Fiction Month 2014: Day 24
Savin' Me by Nickleback.
© 2014 - 2024 dragoeniex
Comments17
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Oh, god. This is really freaky and well done!