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Penitence
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Literature Text
And if I disappear, remember this:
My orphaned flaws will find a home in you.
Please carry on your rompkings, gentle miss.
The treasures I have left you are but few.
You'll want to taste the lemon drops, I know-
The ones I plucked from 'neath a dragon's nod.
To find them, follow dreams I sank below.
Look under all the sunbeams I have trod.
Your heart and breath may start to pull away,
So keep them locked up tightly in your chest.
And if these words should lead your mind astray,
A simple trick can lay your fears to rest.
Hang silvered fish around your neck like beads,
Then feed them on your tears and my misdeeds.
My orphaned flaws will find a home in you.
Please carry on your rompkings, gentle miss.
The treasures I have left you are but few.
You'll want to taste the lemon drops, I know-
The ones I plucked from 'neath a dragon's nod.
To find them, follow dreams I sank below.
Look under all the sunbeams I have trod.
Your heart and breath may start to pull away,
So keep them locked up tightly in your chest.
And if these words should lead your mind astray,
A simple trick can lay your fears to rest.
Hang silvered fish around your neck like beads,
Then feed them on your tears and my misdeeds.
An entry for CRLiterature's Unbirthday Literature Contest
To celebrate DeviantArt's turning 14, contestants have 14 days to enter prose of 14 sentences or sonnets of 14 lines. Entries must be surreal in some form or fashion.
This is my go at a surreal, Shakespearean sonnet. (Rhyme scheme of ABAB CDCD EFEF GG. Iambic pentameter, etc.) It took an embarrassingly long time to write. Still, I like the tone I ended up with.
Feedback is welcomed heartily, as this is my first sonnet proper.
To celebrate DeviantArt's turning 14, contestants have 14 days to enter prose of 14 sentences or sonnets of 14 lines. Entries must be surreal in some form or fashion.
This is my go at a surreal, Shakespearean sonnet. (Rhyme scheme of ABAB CDCD EFEF GG. Iambic pentameter, etc.) It took an embarrassingly long time to write. Still, I like the tone I ended up with.
Feedback is welcomed heartily, as this is my first sonnet proper.
© 2014 - 2024 dragoeniex
Comments4
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I especially like: My orphaned flaws will find a home in you./Please carry on your rompkings, gentle miss.
Your sonnet has a nice "open" feel to it - I found it easy to read through and to enjoy, even without at first understanding what everything meant. (I do mean this a compliment ^^") The poem doesn't feel crammed into the sonnet form. And I agree with your other commenter - the poem has a definite touch of Lewis Carroll about it, while still being in your own style.
I'm not really that good at judging poetry but I'm pretty certain you're in with a good chance of winning the prose at the very least.
Your sonnet has a nice "open" feel to it - I found it easy to read through and to enjoy, even without at first understanding what everything meant. (I do mean this a compliment ^^") The poem doesn't feel crammed into the sonnet form. And I agree with your other commenter - the poem has a definite touch of Lewis Carroll about it, while still being in your own style.
I'm not really that good at judging poetry but I'm pretty certain you're in with a good chance of winning the prose at the very least.